Throughout the United States, there are counties and states that have a mandatory 5-7 day waiting period for purchasing a handgun.  One of the major premises behind this law is that it will give the applicant a possibly needed “cooling off period” just in case they are buying the gun in a “fit of rage.”  The waiting period will give them time to contemplate their actions and to possibly prevent them from doing something that a cooler head would not do.  The results of this ”cooling off period” have been effective in cetain states, and are often strongly debated, but there is something about the psychology behind this law and overspending that we can learn from.   

     I recently saw a young lady in my office about her money issues.   She had come to see me because she was an admitted overspender and wanted help managing her finances.   She called herself an “impulse buyer” and said that she was “dangerous” in a mall.   ”Me, a credit card, and a mall do not mix well”, she said jokingly.   After helping her set up a budget and helping her look her money situation right in the eye (this particular concept will be expounded on in an upcoming post), we got down to the business of dealing with her impulsiveness with money.   

       I explained to her the gun control analogy presented above and told her that an excellent initial strategy to deal with her impulsiveness with money was to give herself a “cooling off period” before making a purchase, just as some gun purchasing applicants were required to do.   Although a comparison between purchasing a gun and a Louis Vatton bag may seem far-fetched, the psychology would be the same:  by making herself wait a day or two she could decide if she really wanted something.   It would also help her get in touch with the reasons that she was buying the product and to see if they were worthwhile ones.   I know from coaching many clients that if a client feels like they are sacrificing, they are very unlikely to want to change for the better.   They need to see a positive benefit to their new course of action.  I gave her an extra and very practical incentive for learning to honor her money in this way:  by practicing giving herself this “cooling off” period she could then save more money for a purchase that she truly needed and truly wanted.   This would increase her spending power on these products.

  We all fall under the spell of “impulse buying” sometimes and can often use a cooling off period.    I never like to use the word never, but I hardly ever make a big purchase without giving myself  a  good amount of time to contemplate the decision.   I find that I make much more sound judgements with money when this is done.   It can be hard sometimes to do when something seems like a great bargain, but very few things are “once in a lifetime chances”, no matter how hard the seller may try to convince us otherwise.   Last fall, I was browsing at a local  car dealership  and the salesman sat us down and tried to convince me to buy a car that night and presented me with what seemed to be a great offer.  Admittedly, it seemed pretty enticing.   I did not feel right buying a car that day, though, and knew that I was not thinking clearly.   I usually find that rushed decisions are not always the best decisions anyhow.   I walked away from the deal, with my girlfriend and others telling me that I was crazy.   I trusted my instincts that told me to give myself some time to “cool off.”  I did, and sure enough I went out shopping for a car a few weeks later with a relaxed and cool head and found an even better deal- same car but with a color that I really liked!  

  My client has been trying this “cooling off” strategy and has been succeeding greatly.    She has saved money and realized that a lot of her purchases were coming from a competitive, “keep up with the Jones’” place, and from momentary and fleeting emotions, rather than a clear and more centered place.     She now has more money and is saving it to be able to buy herself an upgraded new laptop from Apple that she can use for her work.    In the end, it feels a lot better when we know our money is being used wisely instead of frivolously.

    Besides a “cooling off” period there are other things that we can do to curb overspending.   Here are some quick tips: 

1)  Use cash instead of a debit or credit card.  Author and financial advisor Suze Orman points out that credit cards keep a space in our minds between us and our money.    When we have to use cash for something we are often less tempted to make futile purchases.

2)  Never go shopping when you are depressed.   Just as they tell you never to go food shopping when you are hungry, the same applies with going shopping when we are emotionally down.  This can lead us to try and compensate with overindulging in ”giftbuying” for ourselves.   These “gifts” are ultimately punishments because they lead us further in debt and to more financial stress.    Go shopping with a supportive friend and with a clear head. 

3)  Give yourself something great to save for.     My girlfriend and I recently started saving for a long-term cruise that we want to go on.   This gives us the incentive to eat home instead of going out, or to not buy this or that unnecessary item.   Having something that you are saving for can give you the extra motivation you need not to overspend.  

        In the end, we owe it to ourselves to treat our money with respect.  If we do, it will treat us with respect.   The way we spend our money is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.   A good sense of self will prevent us from needing to overindulge ourselves needlessly.   Gifts for ourselves are good and helpful when given with full awareness of what we are doing.