Sunday, January 18, 2009- 9:30Am-12pm

Price:  $25.00

Location:

The Life Improvement Center of New Jersey                         91 East Somerset Street (Suites B&C)                             Raritan, NJ 08869

Registration/Payment Information :

To register for this class, you can e-mail Coachbuffer@ptlcoaching.com or you can call Justin’s office, The Life Improvement Center of New Jersey,  at (908) 203-0037.  Payment can be made prior to the class to ensure your space.   Payment is also accepted at the door.  All major credit cards and cash accepted.

Class Description

Have you always wanted to learn how to meditate?   The benefits of meditaiton are legion including reduced stress, greater mental clarity, more energy, insight, improved physical health, and a deeper connection  to your highest Self.  You will leave this class with at least 5 different meditation techniques and leave with a foundation for starting a daily meditation practice.    The class will be held at Justin’s office, The Life Improvement Center of New Jersey. The cost for this class is $25.00.

Never Settle:

“We are on this planet to heal ourselves, to heal others, and to grow to be the absolute best that we can be.    Our cost in life for not dedicating our lives to these things, and settling in any area of our lives, is our own joy and inner and outer enrichment. “-  JB

“There will be those in our lives that will not like that we are growing and stretching ourselves because it will threaten their own ego identity.  Do not let their issues slow you down.  Instead, become an example for them of what they too can do.   Demonstrate to them, by your growth, that they also have the power to unlock the self-imposed door to their own greatness.  Deep down, even if they never verbally say so, they will thank you for it.” - JB

Your Readiness

“The best credentials that you can have is a willing heart, an open mind, and a dedicated soul.”-  JB

“Your life is a movie and you are the producer of that movie.   The screenplay is a combination of all your thoughts.”        -  JB

Look at the picture below.    What do you see?    Do you see the rabbit or the duck?  Which strikes you first?

This exercise can teach us a lesson in life; Often, how we see something is determined by our visual and psychological predispospositions.    I noticed that since I see ducks every day when I come home from work, I am quick to notice the large “beek” of the duck first.    Our unconcious perceptual predispositions can get in our way of seeing things clearly, or get in the way of seeing a whole entity.  How many times in our life have we focused on one part of a person or an object, only to realize later we were leaving out a big chunk of the whole picture.  As we get our predispositions out of the way, we can increasingly see more clearly.

This principle should be applied to the full spectrum of our lives.  For instance, what lens do you see money or the opposite sex through?  Are you seeing them truly or are you bringing your pre-conceived limiting beliefs with you?  It is a question worth asking yourself.

Undoing and healing our perceptions- our false ones that is- is a major component of the healing process.

Does anyone have any perceptual shifts to share?  Your comments are welcome.

Friday, January 16, 2009- 6:30PM-8:15PM

Price:  $20.00

Location:   

The Life Improvement Center of New Jersey                         91 East Somerset Street (Suites B&C)                             Raritan, NJ 08869                            

 Registration/Payment Information :

 To register for this class, you can e-mail Coachbuffer@ptlcoaching.com or you can call Justin’s office, The Life Improvement Center of New Jersey,  at (908) 203-0037.  Payment can be made prior to the class to ensure your space.   Payment is also accepted at the door.  All major credit cards and cash accepted.

Class Description

 A Course In Miracles is a set of 3 books that contain a self-study system of spiritual psychotherapy aimed at helping us remove our inner blocks- guilt, fear, and a false sense of sin- to the awareness of our inner Light and connection to God.   Its goal for us is to make our true dreams come true. Its central teaching is forgiveness and its central aim is to lead us into deep inner peace, joy, and closer to God and to our own wisdom and guidance.   It helps us improve and purify our relationship to everyone and everything- including other people, money, food, etc.    It’s goal, plain and simple, is increasing and complete happiness. It has changed my life.   It may be for you and it may not be, but in this class you can see if it is your path, or just a stop along the way.    This class will be held twice  a month at my office, The Life Improvement Center of New Jersey.    There is a $20.00 donation requested (nobody will be turned away for inabilility to pay) and space will be limited to 12 people in order to foster a more intimate setting.   You can call our center at (908) 203-0037 to register or you can e-mail me directly at Coachbuffer@ptlcoaching.com.   I hope to see you there.   

The Life Improvement Center of New Jersey

91 East Main Street

 SuiteS B&C  

 Raritan, NJ 08869

 Please stop by and look out for posts about our upcoming classes!

     I recently saw a young lady in my office about her money issues.   She had come to see me because she was an admitted overspender and wanted help managing her finances.   She called herself an “impulse buyer” and said that she was “dangerous” in a mall.   ”Me, a credit card, and a mall do not mix well”, she said jokingly.   After helping her set up a budget and helping her look her money situation right in the eye (this particular concept will be expounded on in an upcoming post), we got down to the business of dealing with her impulsiveness with money.   

       I explained to her the gun control analogy presented above and told her that an excellent initial strategy to deal with her impulsiveness with money was to give herself a “cooling off period” before making a purchase, just as some gun purchasing applicants were required to do.   Although a comparison between purchasing a gun and a Louis Vatton bag may seem far-fetched, the psychology would be the same:  by making herself wait a day or two she could decide if she really wanted something.   It would also help her get in touch with the reasons that she was buying the product and to see if they were worthwhile ones.   I know from coaching many clients that if a client feels like they are sacrificing, they are very unlikely to want to change for the better.   They need to see a positive benefit to their new course of action.  I gave her an extra and very practical incentive for learning to honor her money in this way:  by practicing giving herself this “cooling off” period she could then save more money for a purchase that she truly needed and truly wanted.   This would increase her spending power on these products.

  We all fall under the spell of “impulse buying” sometimes and can often use a cooling off period.    I never like to use the word never, but I hardly ever make a big purchase without giving myself  a  good amount of time to contemplate the decision.   I find that I make much more sound judgements with money when this is done.   It can be hard sometimes to do when something seems like a great bargain, but very few things are “once in a lifetime chances”, no matter how hard the seller may try to convince us otherwise.   Last fall, I was browsing at a local  car dealership  and the salesman sat us down and tried to convince me to buy a car that night and presented me with what seemed to be a great offer.  Admittedly, it seemed pretty enticing.   I did not feel right buying a car that day, though, and knew that I was not thinking clearly.   I usually find that rushed decisions are not always the best decisions anyhow.   I walked away from the deal, with my girlfriend and others telling me that I was crazy.   I trusted my instincts that told me to give myself some time to “cool off.”  I did, and sure enough I went out shopping for a car a few weeks later with a relaxed and cool head and found an even better deal- same car but with a color that I really liked!  

  My client has been trying this “cooling off” strategy and has been succeeding greatly.    She has saved money and realized that a lot of her purchases were coming from a competitive, “keep up with the Jones’” place, and from momentary and fleeting emotions, rather than a clear and more centered place.     She now has more money and is saving it to be able to buy herself an upgraded new laptop from Apple that she can use for her work.    In the end, it feels a lot better when we know our money is being used wisely instead of frivolously.

    Besides a “cooling off” period there are other things that we can do to curb overspending.   Here are some quick tips: 

1)  Use cash instead of a debit or credit card.  Author and financial advisor Suze Orman points out that credit cards keep a space in our minds between us and our money.    When we have to use cash for something we are often less tempted to make futile purchases.

2)  Never go shopping when you are depressed.   Just as they tell you never to go food shopping when you are hungry, the same applies with going shopping when we are emotionally down.  This can lead us to try and compensate with overindulging in ”giftbuying” for ourselves.   These “gifts” are ultimately punishments because they lead us further in debt and to more financial stress.    Go shopping with a supportive friend and with a clear head. 

3)  Give yourself something great to save for.     My girlfriend and I recently started saving for a long-term cruise that we want to go on.   This gives us the incentive to eat home instead of going out, or to not buy this or that unnecessary item.   Having something that you are saving for can give you the extra motivation you need not to overspend.  

        In the end, we owe it to ourselves to treat our money with respect.  If we do, it will treat us with respect.   The way we spend our money is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.   A good sense of self will prevent us from needing to overindulge ourselves needlessly.   Gifts for ourselves are good and helpful when given with full awareness of what we are doing.  

     I recently saw a client in my office that told me that she seemed to always attract the “wrong” men. They all seemed unable to have an intimate relationship, and to not know how to properly treat a woman. After some discussion I helped her see that although what she was saying was true- that she attracted a certain kind of guy- there was also a deeper truth that on some level she was attracted to a certain kind of guy.   And that even if she were to force herself to date men different than the emotionally distant and insensitive ones that she was used to dating, she would probably either find herself uninterested or sabotaging the relationship because, as counterintuitive as it may seem, she was out of her comfort level.    What is she to do then?

I explained to her that before she tries to change the men that she naturally attracted into her life- which I likened to a movie screen- she had to change the film going into the projector first. That “film” contains her thoughts, emotional programming, and misguided beliefs. In other words, she would eventually have to change from the inside-out. So, as her Life Coach, my job was to actually start with the outside or the “movie”. I gave her an exercise to help her clarify what she wanted in a partner because I knew that if she just focused on what she did not want then she would attract and produce more of it. This helped her become clear on what it was she exactly wanted in an intimate partner- physical, personality,and character traits that were important to her. She could also become more learned in spotting “red flags” when meeting men. I told her that all of these methods were great that she were learning, but then I explained to her my “beach ball” analogy, from Dr. Dan Neuharth:  When you put a beachball underwater it will eventually come up. It cannot stay down. The same thing is true with your thinking patterns. We can change on the “outside” our behavioral tendencies, but until we go deeper and work on changing the thoughts that were causing the negative tendencies, they are going to pop back up - like the beach ball, usually unexpectedly, and we will, in time, create the same emotional dramas, “movies”, and self-sabotaging patterns in different places and different “theaters.”  Of course, as said earlier this does not mean we do not change our behavior.  For example, we should not say that we are going to eat junk good until we learn to train our thoughts not to want junk food.  Stopping a damaging pattern on the behavioral level is often a very important first step.

 After I knew that my client had a good understanding of this concept, the more important worked started and we discussed the methods that would help her change her belief system for the better. We discussed special meditation techniques and deep healing methods, including mirror exercises, that she could implement to help her change her belief system at a pace that she was ready to.  We worked on affirmation exercises along with special exercises that would keep her grounded in the present moment, to help her gain more clarity and introspection on her actions.   

All of this combined with her being more conscious, both literally and figuratively, of the men that she was choosing and using daily positive affirmations will eventually lead her on a path to finding more healthy relationships. How? By changing the film going into the projector she would change her movie. And this movie will bring about better results, not immediately, but ultimately. 

In your own life then focus not only on changing your “movie” but the film as well.  A Course In Miracles states that we often do not know the power of our subconcious minds and that it has the power to literally “move mountains.”  If it has the power to do so, then it surely has the power to create damaging and self-defeating patterns in our little lives.    Whether it be relationships, career, self-image, finances, etc. remember to work on changing the film you are putting into the projector with your thoughts, so you can make a much better movie! Learn to use affirmations, meditation, prayer, and other healing techniques to change your emotional and thought programming.   In my upcoming blog entries, I will discuss specific ways to incorporate these techniques, and change our lives from the inside-out.  I have found the results to be amazing when we all make a commitment to get down to the serious business of healing our deepest thoughts.    I have seen clients change self-defeating patterns that they previously found unthinkable to drop.

 Good luck then on the production of your upcoming movies!  

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 If you would like to know more about how to work with Life Coach Justin Buffer on changing your film and your movie, you may contact him for a free consultation at coachbuffer@ptlcoaching.com